Tagged: coaching

How To Destroy Your Enemy

banner_menatwar

Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them? – Abe Lincoln

How To Destroy Your Enemies

1. You could dig up dirt on them and leak it to the public
2. You could study them to determine their weaknesses and chip away at them until they break under the pressure
3. You could study them to determine what/who they love and cut them off from it/them
4. You could gather data to prove that they are wrong about something and discredit them
5. You could bear false witness against them, thereby inviting the unjustified wrath of others
6. You could harm them in some way and render them useless
7. Or you could enter into a conversation with them to find out what you have in common and take it from there…

Often when disagreements surface, we feel we must clobber down those whom we perceive to be working against us and their ideas.

We’re afraid if we don’t, we won’t get our way.

We want to win.

If we really want to win, we should start where we agree and work forward from there. We’ll likely find that the end result is better than either side could have imagined alone. Who could you reach out to today to begin discovering which values you have in common?

The purpose of this blog is to facilitate discussions that will help us all to better engage with our communities. Your participation and feedback are most welcomed and valued. Please join the discussion below.

Rising To Leadership

198_1jwb_041511_track_060_2

There are standards to which government, religion and higher education should be held. There are examples that politicians and principled businesspeople should endeavor to set, regardless of whether their peers are making that effort. There’s right and wrong, not just better or worse.

And there’s a word for recognizing and rising to that: leadership. We could use more of it. ~ NY Times, Weary of Relativity, May 23, 2015.

There are times when I convince myself that I’m doing alright by telling myself that:

  • I do better than that other person.
  • I’m not as bad as so-and-so.
  • This is how everyone else does it, it’s good enough.
  • Things are fine, why should I go that extra mile?
  • There’s not enough time to do it the way it should be done.

Lowering the bar is tempting, especially when I’m tired. I don’t want to go there though. I want to strive to always do my best. I won’t always succeed but I want to keep that bar raised high.

I want to do right, not just better than others.

Are high standards important to you?

The purpose of this blog is to facilitate discussions that will help us all to better engage with our communities. Your participation and feedback are most welcomed and valued. Please join the discussion below.

If I Have To Choose…

sitting-girl-on-window-1366x768

I’d rather have a life of “OH WELLS” than a life of “WHAT IFS.”

Because it’s easier for me to take my lumps in ‘oh wells’ than it is to take them in ‘what ifs.’ I’d rather try and fail than not try and forever wonder.

I am reminded of a post I’d read months ago (link below) about the regrets people have on their deathbed…

…and my thoughts about the areas I needed to work on; areas I have been consciously and unconsciously working on since reading the article.

According to Bronnie Ware the Top 5 regrets people have on their deathbed are:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself.
2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

To read more on Bronnie’s thoughts see Nurse reveals the top 5 regrets people make on their deathbed

Which of the above points resonate with you? What are you doing about it?

The purpose of this blog is to facilitate discussions that will help us all to better engage with our communities. Your participation and feedback are most welcomed and valued. Please join the discussion below.

A Good Time To Do Good

kindness-3“Do all the good you can, By all the means you can, In all the ways you can, In all the places you can, At all the times you can, To all the people you can, As long as ever you can.” ~ unattributed

There seems to be a dispute about whether or not this quote can be attributed to John Wesley or not.

In fact there’s a whole website dedicated to the quotes John Wesley did not say.

But who said it, doesn’t matter nearly as much to me as what the quote suggests.

Doing good.

Right now, using all the gifts at your disposal, no matter the circumstances.

No matter where you are, what time it is, who you are with and how much time you have left, doing good is a worthy endeavor.

Not just when you’re at the top of your game; when all the pieces are falling into place.

But do good when your bottom’s falling out.

When you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Do good when you don’t want to — especially when you don’t want to.

The purpose of this blog is to facilitate discussions that will help us all to better engage with our communities. Your participation and feedback are most welcomed and valued. Please join the discussion below.

Bad Luck…Or Is It?

fortune_cookie_2

You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from. – Cormac McCarthy

Can you look back on a particular situation where you are sure divine intervention saved you a world of trouble?

Because even when we plan for the future to ensure that we will be prepared for whatever may come, bad or unforeseen things can happen to foil our carefully laid plans.

Sometimes what seems like a bad thing at the time, ends up being the best thing that ever happened to us.

Many years ago, I missed catching a ride with someone because I answered the phone and ended up chatting longer than I had intended.

Irritated with the situation and mumbling under my breath, I hailed a cab. Upon arriving at my destination, I learned that my would-have-been driver had been in an accident.

I’ve experienced a handful of similar situations with varying degrees of seriousness. Enough to make me more patient when things don’t always go my way.

A missed flight…

an unsuccessful job application…

a strategy that doesn’t work out as planned…

…might just be the best thing that ever happened.

Has something seemingly bad ever worked out for the best for you?

The purpose of this blog is to facilitate discussions that will help us all to better engage with our communities. Your participation and feedback are most welcomed and valued. Please join the discussion below.

Just Cut That Wood Already

measuringBanner

Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must first be overcome.” – Samuel Johnson

We’ve all heard that saying, “Measure twice, cut once.” It’s good advice meant to make sure you get what you envisioned.

When used as it is meant to be understood, it is good. When used as an excuse not to proceed, it is self-defeating.

In the context of an organization, it is good and advisable to have policies.

Policies equip and empower an organization to fulfill its mission.

The problem comes when policies are used to hide behind; preventing us from actually doing the work that we’re mandated to do.

Yes, do measure twice, but then cut already!

I mean, why start something if you’re not willing to take some risks?

The purpose of this blog is to facilitate discussions that will help us all to better engage with our communities. Your participation and feedback are most welcomed and valued. Please join the discussion below.

Go Ahead, Talk Behind My Back!

Be generous with kind words, especially about those who are absent. ~ Goethe

gossip2In order to ‘undo’ the effects of having said something negative, you need to say up to ten encouraging things.

Even so, another hurtful comment down the road can bring a person right back to the pain of the original comment.

Does that mean we can never be critical or evaluate behaviours? of course not! Constructive feedback is essential to growth.

We know that being hurt is unavoidable, especially for those of us who have raised children and have wanted so badly for them to find their niche. Getting hurt is part of growing up. It happens.

And when it happens at the office, isn’t it good to know that you have teammates who’ve got your back and want the best for you?

It’s also said that we shouldn’t talk about others behind their back.

I say go for it.

But say something nice!

Because you know what’s better than someone saying something nice TO you?

Somebody saying something nice ABOUT you to someone else, and it getting back to you!

The next time someone says something wonderful about one of your co-workers – go tell them!

The purpose of this blog is to facilitate discussions that will help us all to better engage with our communities. Your participation and feedback are most welcomed and valued. Please join the discussion below.